Saturday, December 29, 2012

When Waiting Gets To You..

If you have ever been remotely acquainted with detective fiction, then I am sure you would have come across the line, 'In this job, more than your adversary, it is the waiting that gets to you.' More often than not, the detectives spend an incredible amount of time waiting for something to give while following a suspect or while on a surveillance mission. And it is this waiting that either proves fruitful or snaps the detective in question into doing something really stupid causing further stupid things to happen. So moral of the story, waiting can be your friend or your worst enemy. It can get you results or make you go stark raving mad.

Different moods of waiting?

This is the case in real life as well. After years of experience, I understand that it is not a good idea to make someone wait for more than a certain amount of time. I call this threshold of waiting the snapping point. Different people have different thresholds before they reach their respective snapping points. For instance, one of my friends is so good at waiting that we call him The Buddha. I, on the other hand, tend to be a little impatient. My snapping point is approximately 5 minutes (4 mins 37 secs to be precise). But to be fair, just as I expect that someone should not make me wait beyond my snapping point, I also try to make it a point to not keep people waiting beyond a reasonable limit. Excepting if it is The Buddha, of course. Despite that, my friends say that my tardiness is legendary. But there was a time when I was known for my punctuality. Over a period of time, the total waiting I did for trains, planes, automobiles, ferries and people got to me and I decided enough is enough.

Usually, when I wait beyond my snapping point, the lead idle time I get for waiting is mostly used up in working up an anxiety and an impatience of epic proportions. This eventual build-up is enough to cause me to blow a gasket. So, in order to stay out of trouble, I devised my own counter-waiting strategies. Strategies such as:
  • Always plan to arrive approximately 15 minutes later than the appointed time. This saves at least 5 minutes of wait time. Nobody knows you are late because no one would have arrived yet.
  • If you have to catch a train or flight, start packing for the trip just about the time you should actually be starting to the  airport or train station. The anxiety of catching your flight or train will overwhelm your revulsion for waiting. Also misplace your passport and tickets. Nothing to beat it.
  • If you are stuck in transit, then put your feet up on the trolley and well, wait. I still haven't devised a better strategy for that. If it gets more boring, then instead of you snapping, start snapping pics at random. Like I did of my new footwear while waiting for a flight that was delayed by 8 hours.
  • If you are on your way to meet someone, make sure that you make at least one pit stop at a crowded gas station to fill up and check tire pressure or at least get a pack of chewing gum.
  • Set your watch so that it runs 12 minutes slower. 
  • If you are on your way to a party or function, make sure that you DON'T factor in the time for buying the present. That way you get to spend some quality time in the gift shop.
  • Make a quiet entrance if the party is already in progress. That way in case if the host spots you, you can always say that you've been there for a while mixing with the crowd. Saves you a lot of trouble.
  • Just in case you do end up arriving later than the rest, and get caught, make sure you think up of a good excuse or reason. For example, a letter from the President stating that you had to take a detour to save the world, a medical certificate from a dentist stating that you were given too much laughing gas and so couldn't drive, a speeding ticket, ticket for jumping the signal, etc. Usually, a ticket for speeding or jumping the signal should do.
  • In case you are driving and lost, check for directions on your smartphone in areas where reception is at best spotty.
  • Do not iron your shirt or shine your shoes in advance.
  • Last but not the least, do not plan. 

Put your feet up on the trolley and well, wait.

So far, these strategies have worked like a charm for me. Perhaps, in future, I might add some more to the list. But for now these seem to be working fine and I hardly get to wait for others as much as they have to do for me. As a result, they are saved from seeing my uglier side. On the flipside I'm getting to see theirs. That's OK 'cuz I'm saving approximately 4' 37" on my clock :-) On that note, I'll take leave. The Buddha has been waiting for me. Since yesterday.

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