Cars I would love to see in Transformers 2

I happened to watch Transformers (the movie) after my friend insisted that its gonna be a cool movie. Cool movie it sure was but in my opinion, it had similiarities with Indpendence Day and Armageddon. Having said that, the robots transforming themselves into cars, trucks, fighter planes, etc., was really the best part. And cool too. Besides Megan Fox that is. And Bumblebee of course. And the little squeaky evil transformer that becomes a cell phone. But, honestly, who would want to see robots transforming themselves into GM cars (ok, the Chevy Camaro concept of Bumblebee was cool ) and trucks when there are are cooler looking vehicles around? So I gave it a thought on what cars should the transformers be. And to my surprise, I came up with a big list.

Ninja Transformers: Perhaps this is a no-brainer. What kinda cars would Ninja Transformers transform themselves into? Japanese of course. And in my opinion, to lead the pack would be Acura and Honda. Yea, yea, Acura is American but isn't it Honda's? The new Acura models really look the part. With a feline grin and a out-of-this-world grille, you get the feeling that these cars are a bit more than just cars and have a secret life of their own once you lock them up in your garage at the end of the day.


If the Transformers are not into Acura or Honda then they can choose to become one of those cool Infinitis. Before I forget, Nissan GT-R too. And for the Ninja master? Nissan Murano of course. For the racing Ninjas? Subarus and Mitsubishi Evos. Toyotas (with the exception of the LandCruiser) and Lexuses (with the exception of IS420) seem to be a little plain jane when compared to the ones mentioned above.

For the bad Ninja Transformers? Subaru Tribeca B9 (the older version). A ghastly design if ever there was one. And an equally hideous dash (as if the whole thing started to melt in the hot sun).

And their leader? The Acura RDX. What about the wise Ninja who looks harmless from outside but is really an old pro at his work? Maybe Honda Element. Maybe. Optimus Prime must be frowning already.

Euro Transformers:From the Far-East to the West, moving to Europe and starting with the Germans. Topping the list would be the BMW 5-series. Those flame surfaced headlamps with corona rings are enough to send shivers to any driver who's seen them sneaking up on his rearview mirror in twilight. Audi's R8 and A4 with those daytime LED running lights are no less intimidating either. So is the revamped LED-embellished Q7.

And from the 3-pointed star family definitely the McLaren'ed Stirling Moss SL55. And Red Unimog trucks. How uber cool is that?

From the Porsche family it would definitely be the Cayenne Turbo S.

Super Transformers: Moving onto Italy. How about Lambo Gallardo or Reventon for starters? No mods required. All one has to do is raise its scissor doors and its transformed into a flying pterodactyl. Even Countach and Diablo wouldn't stay far behind. With bright orange and lime green colors, they'd bring some cheer too.

Ferrari Enzo is another one on the list from the supercar family. I would have included Bugatti Veyron too but its too rounded for my liking. Nevertheless a transformer with 1000 hp and 400 kph top speed is not bad to have. A Maserati Q'porte would be a cool addition too.

Baby Transformers: Well, small cars they maybe but the list is not small. You can have the Abarth modded 500, the Mini Cooper S and even a souped up VW Beetle. The new 2008 VW Scirocco (hope I got the name right) with a green paint job also looks sufficiently mean to join the club. A Tata Nano wouldn't be far behind. Small it maybe but it does have some character.

And as I keep thinking, the list just keeps increasing. Let's stop here. For this edition of Transformers, I think this starcast is sufficient. We can have the next list for Transformers 3. Until then, let's hope we have cooler cars in Transformer 2. Besides Megan Fox that is.

Smart Thinking for Greener Tomorrow

The new Honda Accord V6 is really a nice car. Though I am not a great fan of the Honda designs (the new Civic is an exception to this rule), I just love their engines. And I am impressed with the new technology they have incorporated into the V6 engine, especially the VCM (Variable Cylinder Management) which ensures that only a required number of cylinders work at any given time. It also makes me wonder as to why other car makers never came up with this simple idea. If someone actually did, looks like it never got popular. Honda engineers definitely deserve a pat on the back for this genius of a technology. Imagine, for a car weighing close to 2 tonnes if only 3 cylinders out of 6 can help it cruise along in "economy" mode (nice), then why can't smaller cars (weighing less than a tonne) have a technology that will help them cruise on only 1 or 2 cylinders in "economy" mode? It would do the world a whole lot of good by reducing CO₂ and other harmful gas emissions. Hope the rest of the automakers follow suit. Or, at least, for starters, Honda should introduce this technology in its other models. ASAP.

(source: honda.com)

Weathering a Tough Season

It has been a very busy last two weeks. The previous weekend started off in a waiting room of a hospital. In fact I was in hospital on the polling day. And I'm not happy. Waiting rooms of hospitals always have an eerie air about them, at least for me. There is something about hospitals that gives you both hope and despair at the same time. And the waiting gets to you if one of your loved ones (in this case my Dad) is undergoing treatment. Anyways, after a very brief stint and with good treatment, my Dad’s back home again. Here I must thank the Docs and the nursing staff for his speedy recovery and also for restoring normalcy. Feels good to be back home. Both for him and for me.

(source: weather.com)

And while all this happened, the mercury soared like the stock market indices of a bygone era (yea those days seem to have happened a long time ago indeed). Considering the heat wave this year, I am sure the meteorologists might have to come up with a new scale for measuring temperatures. Move over Fahrenheit and Celsius, these are the days of the global warming. Hope we get to celebrate the next Earth Day on a cooler day. From the temperatures predicted in weather.com (image posted above) looks like there is no respite at least for some time to come. So for the rest of this summer, I will step outside only as a last resort. Until then, I’ll try to do something useful such as working on my assignments. At least that way I can make up for the lost time. Isn’t there any recession for hot summers?

Speaking of recession, workwise, recession has finally caught up with us. It was heartbreaking to find that some of the folks I knew got the pink slips. I just hope they find something fast and have a great future ahead.

Upset? Me? You've got to be kidding.. yea right.

Its one of those days again when something inside me has snapped and I have got extremely testy. During this time, my temper sits on a powder keg that has an extremely short fuse and at a slight pull of a trigger, there is a gradual transformation in me from a meek Dr. Jekyll to a monstrous Mr. Hyde. Uh.. its not a gradual transformation. It explodes fast enough to put off anyone who happens to be having the bad luck of being in the same room as I am at that moment.

Most of the times, I try to keep my emotions well under check and even have a smile pasted on my face in a hot situation to keep things from blowing up. I'm even chivalrous to a fault. But when I'm Mr. Hyde, its a different story altogether. No man or no woman (kids are luckier because I feel that children should not be exposed to such bad behavior) is spared. Its like a rhino rampage in a china shop. I'm surprised at my own behavior when I think about it afterwards. But by then, its a tad late. Things get snapped to a breaking point. But I try to apologize and make up. Its tough (to apologize), but its better to make amends then live with it. Needless to say, its very damaging.

At other times, I simply get furious at some one-off incident that would have happened ages ago and purse my lips till the point my teeth start to bite into them. Ferociously furious, I must say. And then it passes off. Don't know what triggers these volatile memories. I really must put a lid on them or start looking at the funny side of them.

So, when some of my buddies say that they have not seen me lose my temper, I murmur Ethan Hunt's memorable quote from 'Mission Impossible', "you have never seen me very upset." Or, for a change (depends on the day of the week), I use Bruce Banner's quip, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." from 'The Hulk'. Nice lines, those.

Anyways, to cut the long story short, I'm pretty bad at anger management and equally bad at swallowing a tantrum when I am upset. I mean when I am very upset that is.

Thankfully, my bouts of upset mode are far and few and I would like to make them much farther and fewer before I gnash my teeth to bone dust and rip my remaining hair out. Small things upset me or at least used to upset me. But nowadays as experience is tutoring me, I'm getting more thick-skinned and ignoring the smaller irritants. Nevertheless, I still don't want to be known as Captain Haddock (from those favorite Tintin comics) who's not had his dose of Loch Lomond whisky that day. So, I am in search for that elusive elixir that will keep my temper in check. I'm still searching and I have promised myself that I'll find it someday, for everyone's sake.

So as a part of this quest, I google sites that say that they help or give free advice on how to control one's "negative" emotions. I've found a good one in http://www.apa.org (American Psychological Association). It has some nice and basic tips, nothing that hotheads like me have not heard of before but effective nevertheless. Or so say the Psychologists. Some of these tips are:

- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."

- Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

- Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

- Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

I will try to remember them the next time I begin to morph into Mr. Hyde (Eeeaaaargh, get that thing off me!). This way I hope that Dr. Hyde stays firmly in control. Till the time I master my zen and memorize APA's tips, some more china shops will get in the way of those rampaging rhinos. I just hope this modern china is really unbreakable as they advertise.

To Power Without Power

And as the elections near, the speeches get more and more promising. And more entertaining. The great Indian democratic machinery has to be woken up from deep slumber after five years to ensure that the common man votes for the leader of his choice. Suddenly the Election Commission becomes the most important organization for the entire country. Not bad, I must say, after all, we still have democracy dictating the terms in this country.

This morning, I was reading the main page article in the newspaper that talked about one such speech given by a leader in a public meeting. The message given was, we are the wheels of progress and we promise progress along with social justice. What made the whole thing funny was the fact I was reading all this in a candlelight. Yea, in candlelight because of a regular power outage we have during that time. 

Power outages for hours - because there is an acute shortage of power - still makes you wonder about the progress that's been made by the elected governments. The situation's worse in villages and small towns where the power is out for hours together. So, just like all other years previously, power has become a major factor this election year too. In the past, governments have fallen after police fired at people who were protesting about the power situation. Power begets power. But the converse need not be true. I must say that the issue of power scarcity has been a major concern for almost since 3 or 4 elections that I remember. And it is still alive or at least comes to life during the elections. Even after so many years of "progress", there are some things about the political system that still nag you. They nag you so bad that you feel that we are progressing backwards as the rest of the world is moving forward.

The more I think about it, the more backwards I have to travel in time. To the days where we had something called the "load shedding", a term which the state-owned electricity companies invented to switch-off power during the nights, days and whenever other times possible for hours together. Why? Because they were not ready to admit that there was a power shortage situation the state could not solve. The state would not allow private sector to step in to help strengthen the grid. Private enterprises would mean a capitalist fleecing the common public with high rates for the power he generated and sold. Power was a state-owned business and nobody but the public was supposed to benefit. 

Noble thoughts indeed, but easier said than done. The power companies though established with good intentions were also inefficient in many ways. And no one benefited from their inefficiency. Well, having said that, to be honest, some did benefit, by stealing power from the power transmission lines and they still do. Some even stole the high-tension transmission wires because they were made of copper (subsequently the wires were changed to Aluminium which is not as good a conductor as copper is and results in massive power losses during transmission). So the people, who paid, also paid for the power that was stolen by others. And the wires too. It’s common news even today that some industries and residences steal power to save on huge electricity bills. Some of the politicians themselves have been indicted for such activities. 

Power is such an irresistible topic for elections, that you can’t help but keep the issue alive. Thankfully, with better sense prevailing, the governments have been able to involve private enterprises in power generation. Though this is coming at a cost, at least we are plugging the holes that would otherwise weaken the progress.

While all this happens, it will still be sometime before I can stop buying candles. Till that time, I will be reading about the ridiculous speeches on progress, development and modernization under candlelight. More about progress later.

Assignments and Elections '09

Finally, I have been able to complete my Financial Insights assignments. 3 down, 7 to go. Of course, the project involved a little help from my sis and investopedia.com. Especially investopedia.com. The project overshot by a month. But it was well worth it. Now I can make some sense out of WACC, NPV, Debt-equity, blah, blah. I now hope that I get to use all these terms in one sentence and still make some sense one day. Meanwhile, the push has come to a shove and the rest of the assignments need to be finished too. I hope I will be able to breeze thru them. Yeah right!

While I struggle with my own little monsters hiding under my bed, the countdown to Elections '09 has begun and the campaign of each party is heating up. Every other ad or for that matter every ad on TV is that of a political party. I have never seen such spate of political ads on TV before. And there is no respite with news channels either. And if you shut the TV, there's always the SMSes on mobile. There's no escaping from them. One thing I can say for sure is that these parties are definitely getting media savvy and leaders are becoming more photogenic. Hope they become incorruptible too. Sigh! Wishful thinking. I just hope we have a better government this time. Let there be light. And let reason prevail.

CEOs Dilemma

Once upon a time (but not so long ago), a corner office of a big corporate was an object of great desire for any ambitious manager. Fat paychecks, bonuses, unimaginable power and of course the fame if you did a good job. I don't know if this is still the case. But then the old adage "what goes up, comes down" consistently delivers on its money. And it has done so yet again. CEOs nowadays are available for dime a dozen or precisely for a $1.00 per year salary. Take the case of any big company today, the story seems to be the same. In some cases this $1.00 salary does not include perks such as flying around in corporate jets asking for bailouts from the government or taking holidays in exclusive retreats. What the job really comes with is, a lot of challenges, a lot of criticism, a lot of tough decisions like letting go of employees and constant media scrutiny waiting for that one wrong step that will bring down the intricate house of cards. All this for one measly $1.00. Or maybe I am wrong. Maybe, $1.00 is no more measly. Maybe these CEOs are getting overpaid for the job they have on hand. Whatever be the case, they have their job cut out for them. Any takers?

So, while these CEOs try to use their numerous years of experience to bring us out of this quagmire and get grossly overpaid for it, there was one CEO – Paul Levy of Beth Israel Hospital - this week who was bent on saving the jobs of thousands of people who work for his hospital in a unique but effective way. This man certainly does deserve more than a dollar. Its nice to see that some good guys are still hanging on there. Check his blog at http://runningahospital.blogspot.com.

Taxman Cometh

As I write this post, I watch A.R. Rahman win his much-deserved Oscar. Congrats. I first noticed his music in a Doordarshan program called Madras Telugu Academy Presents that used to be telecast on Sundays. He had composed music for the programme's title and credits. It was the first time I had heard a synthesizer and it was mesmerising to say the least. More than the programme, I used to wait for the end credits to roll when the tune used to be played. Seems that I do have a taste for good music after all ;-)

Anyways, its that time of the year again when the taxman will come pay me a visit to take his dues. Which reminds me of the unpleasant fact I worked a little over a third of my time for the him this year. It is painful to see that the very people who are responsible for making sure that this money is used with prudence are themselves misusing the funds. And I also end up paying on behalf of the tax evaders who know a million ways to hide their money from the taxman. I wish there was a little more rationalization while the taxman cast his tax net so that it could be spread wider instead of deeper. Sigh! all that hard-earned money which could have bought me a well-earned vacation or some such well-earned stuff being given away without a question.

Having said that, I don't mind paying my taxes as much. So long as the money is spent for the right purposes. I feel comforted by the fact that I am also paying for the country's defense forces, for its infrastructure and for the countless number of children who can avail free and subsidized education. Taxman, you are welcome. But just make sure that you make good use of my share of dues.

Steamy Memories

Sometime last year, when I was flying with Lufthansa, I came across an article about restored Junkers in Lufthansa's in-flight magazine. Junkers JU 52 were pre-WW-II era aircraft that were used for both civilian and military services. Lufthansa had lovingly restored one of the planes and was even flying them on a special route from Berlin Tempelhof to give its passengers a whiff of the bygone era. Nice.

Now, I am not a big fan of all things old but there are still a few things that make me say, "In the good ol' times we had...." One of them of being the Steam Engines that powered our railways till the electric and diesel versions took over. I can never get over this steam engine fascination of mine. While all the kids (at least I think most of them) in the class were dreaming about becoming pilots, I used to be firmly grounded driving (if you can call it that) trains over a pair of parallel rails. In reality, I was lucky enough to be around these Steam Engines during my holidays. I always liked the way the grimy bandannaed engineers handled these machines and I wanted to badly belong to that elite club. I knew then that I would one day be a Steam Engine driver/engineer (depends on the continent you are on).

All this might sound like a juvenile English assignment (with a very corny title) but I can't express it any other way. Steam Engines were cool. Period. An engineer's ultimate driving machine if you can call it that. To use a clichéd phrase, you needed to get up close and personal with one to believe them. The long black imposing machines spewing steam looked like a beast that'd just come to life and is ready to devour anything in its way. The huge wheels interconnected by coupling rods that moved in tandem, smokestack belting out black smoke and soot and the faraway look of the headlight that gave a feeling that the engine was already planning out its trip to the destination. While all this was happening, in case any dumb soul even managed to venture near its path, the engine's mighty signature high-pitched whistle was a sure warning of the things to come. A display of unadulterated raw power.

As an engineer (or engine driver), you had to stick out your neck out (literally and idiomatically) to peer over the long boiler to see what lay in the engine's path when it moved. The glassless windows meant for viewing were as good as useless. The only view one had through these windows were that of the boiler. The heat inside the engineer's cabin due to the boiler's furnace would be unbearable and one had to work like a slave to keep the engine moving. The driver and his assistant had to constantly haul coal from its coal truck and shovel it into the boiler furnace, so that the steam pressure was maintained just right. One had to use a regulator to control the speed (which depended on the train, the bogies and the distance to be covered). No computer readouts telling you the speed or the steam pressure. No auto pilots. You had to depend on just plain pressure gauges, the sounds - read that as puffing, wheezing, drumming - the engine made and then use your years of experience to interpret these sounds correctly to ensure that the passengers or goods reached the destination safely and on time. No cozy air-conditioned cabins, no joystick type levers, no satellite or two-way radios, no silent whirring of the turbines and definitely no cushioned seats to relax on. A true labor of love. And if you felt (yes, felt) that you were losing traction you had to drop sand through sand pipes every now and then on the tracks to prevent wheelspin. It was a constant rigour of backbreaking work coupled with alertness. But extremely satisfying at the end of the day. A real job for a real man.

I still feel sad that you don't get to see them anymore. Steam Engines have become relics of a bygone era. By the time I was of a legal driving age, the steam engines had run out of steam. For me, it was an end of a career I had dreamed of even before it started. All that massive hardware becoming obsolete and extinct in a way depicts the extinction of the industrial era's dinosaur. But while the steam engines interconnected places and changed our economy, they were commanding beasts indeed. At the cost of repeating myself, one of the few things that make me say, "In the good ol' times we had...."

But all is not lost. Microsoft's Train Simulator (though a poor substitute to the real thing), Railroad Tycoon 3, Sid Meier's Railroads have helped me sustain my fascination, at least virtually. The Murder on the Orient Express and The Flying Scotsman in MTS are real fun episodes and I never get tired of "driving" these special trains. And while these are cool, cooler still is the series "Thomas (the Tank Train) and Friends." I enjoy it as much as the kid next door does. I am sure the producers of the show love steam engines as much as I do. May their tribe increase.

Money for Nothing?

As Olympics 2008 came to an end, so did a lot of things. One of them happened to be the fate of the Bird's Nest Stadium. It definitely cost a bomb - and then some - to build. Now, it is not clear what this spectacular structure is going to be turned into. The stadium has not been used much since the end of the Olympic Games and paint is already peeling in some areas. Was all that money spent for nothing? A point worth debating. But in my opinion, some structures need to be built.

I remember a story about one such monument called Bada Imambara in Lucknow. The story goes that Bada Imambara was built during the 18th century when the kingdom of Avadh faced a big famine. In order to create jobs for the people, the then Nawab Asaf-ud-Daula commissioned a huge project of building a monument that would employ the people stricken by famine. The famine lasted for a decade and so did the construction of the building. Story goes that while the workers carried out the construction during the day, the Nawab employed people to break down the structure during the night in order to ensure that the construction lasted till the end of the drought. If this story is true, then it was a noble act indeed. Maybe such a make-break-make project should be commissioned during these hard times too. History is full of such lessons we need to know about. Unfortunately, we are too busy dealing with our present to look back into time. Perhaps, we should hit the pause button once in a while and rewind a bit to see if there are any such easter eggs we can discover and use them now.

Do Super Strategies Work in Hard Times?

I wouldn't want to add another line to the billions of lines already written by experts about the global slowdown. But what I'm really interested in is how to make a consumer buy any product in such tough times. Of course, many of us will tend to buy only stuff that is really really necessary. But before that, we would first evaluate if that stuff is really really necessary. And think again till we are convinced that it is really really necessary. However, how about products that are really not so necessary or can wait? How can you make people buy such stuff? I am sure that this is a big challenge for marketing professionals and companies. And since companies don't have enough budget to spend on advertising, the challenge gets compounded. So how can you persuade people to buy your products?

I am curious because of the spot of bother the automakers are in. The automakers would like a faster turnaround of their inventories by making people buy their cars. Though changing a car or buying a second car might not be a necessity for us in these tough times, it is necessary for the automakers that we buy their cars. Because, they need to make newer cars, they need to invest in research for newer cars and most of all, they need to keep their employees from losing their jobs. So, will the super strategies of the advertisers and companies that worked in the past work now? At the same time, even if the companies did have a super strategy, how will the companies persuade people to spend money when they don't have any? Looks like a vicious circle that's going to be a bit tough to break. And of course its not just the automakers, there are other companies too. I would love to see if someone's strategy does work in these very hard times. Anyways, its going to be an interesting case study. One of my company's top bosses said that this current global meltdown is once-in-a-century kind of thing to happen. I couldn't agree more and I wouldn't want such a thing to happen even once in a century. And while people try to work their way through this mess, how will a bailout to an automaker help the consumer who ultimately has to buy that car? Who's going to bail him out to buy a car if he doesn't have a job? Go figure.

Non sequitir: Why do chemical companies still blatantly dump toxic affluents in areas where they are not supposed to? Really, its such a pity that we don't do much about this problem. I wish we were a lot less indifferent to such criminal deeds.

HOMP on TV

Sometimes, TV surprises you. You discover offbeat programs that give a different outlook from the regular fare. Not that I am against any soaps on TV. One of my recent favorites has been "Highway on My Plate." This TV series has been going from strength to strength episode after episode. Unlike other TV shows which have pretty anchors reading off scripts, thankfully you have two smart anchors who make sure that they keep you engaged with their goofy commentary on food they come across from various regions of India as they travel on the Indian highways (hence the name). I hope we have more of such programs.

Message in a Bottle

(Source: smh.com.au Photo: Sheryl Waideman)

I always have had this weird thought when I go to a seaside. That is, to send a message in a bottle. The only thing that stops me from doing this is, my lack of imagination to write a proper message. A message that I would be proud of before I cork it up in a bottle. The cynic in me takes over and laughs at my weirdness and lack of imagination. Creativity eludes me.

But the weirdness of the deed made me google about it. I am surprised to know that a message in a well-sealed bottle is well-preserved as the bottle can withstand a lot of things that would be thrown at it by the sea. In short, it is very seaworthy. I read somewhere that bottles keep bobbing for a long long time across continents for hundreds of years. Cool. And over these hundreds of years, several useful things have come out of sending messages in bottles. In fact, Benjamin Franklin used it for his work to trace ocean currents in the Atlantic!

The next time I'm going to a seaside or a riverside, I will be all set with a bottle and well-sealed message inside it. Till that time, let me think about the message. It sure sounds interesting.

From Shining Stars to Blackholes

(source: "Born Loser" from comics.yahoo.com)

Nowadays, no news seems to be good news. Its funny how things can change in such a short span of time. A few months ago, my co-workers were grumbling that they did not get a bonus despite their hard work. Everyone had grand plans to look forward to. With stars in their eyes, the sky was the limit. Now, they are thankful that they still have their job. No bonuses, no promotions but still people are happy to come to work. They are working harder than ever before. The boss no longer seems to be the bad guy or a slave-driver. What was good earlier is now bad and what was bad earlier now seems to be good. But the million-dollar (make that a multi-billion) question everyone's asking is, "where did all that money from the good times go?" I wish I knew. At least now I know the meaning of a blackhole. A not so great place which sucks up everything that comes in its path. Hope we can get out of its way in time.

Stay In and Be Green

I love plants. And that's the reason why I stay away from them. I can kill a plant just by looking at it. Plants and weeds alike. There is no discrimination. I can never water them right. Either I "underwater" them or "overwater" them. I don't know how to keep the garden pests away. And being a self-confessed greenie, I guess its a gift I can do without. So I try to stay away from flowerpots, bushes, woods, forests as much as possible. Let them live for some more time. They deserve it.

I just can't understand how some people get around with plants. For example, my Mom grows a variety of plants such as aloe vera, a rose bush, a flowering plant, a creeper and some other plants (whose names I don't know) in the small verandah we have. Which is the reason why the verandah is off limits for me. I can't stand out on a sunny day and take in the sun. Sigh! such is life. Staying indoors to save the outdoors.

But the fact remains that, no matter where you live, you can grow plants with very minimal effort. All it takes is a little ingenuity. A few flower pots, some broken or unused furniture, a little channel for water flow and èt voila! You can grow almost whatever you want even without a greenhouse. So I'm going to take up the challenge of growing orchids and bamboo. Or maybe I will take up ikebana. I hope I don't mess up. At least it is going to be something different from what I've been doing for a while.

I've been Bean Counting

Another bunch of assignments. Sometime back, I had enrolled myself into a financial management course (goes to prove that an idle mind's a devil's workshop). My intention was to know the stuff I don't know in finance that I ought to know. Or, at least know what I don't know about money. Which essentially means everything. Now I am stuck with a whole bunch of assignments that are due by 31st of Jan. I have been scratching my head, chewing on my pencil(s), fuming, googling and generally getting frustrated but these assignments still don't make any sense to me. Its been an uphill task working on them and it gets worse by the day. Financial ratio analysis, corporate finance, working capital management, athens, parthenon, kanakaredes, cryptos, mykros all sound the same to me. Yea, you guessed it, Greek. With a sprinkling of Latin. So instead of working on my assignments - after having another red bull and chewing on the last pencil I had - I am writing this post. Speaking of pencils, with all that chewing, I have now acquired a taste for graphite. I can now tell which pencil is a real connoisseur's delight and which one is Burger King's Big Whopper. But I still can't calculate how many pencils I need to chew on before I can successfully understand Break-Even analysis. Anyways, let me get back to my assignments. My cash flow statement problem seems to be showing that my cash flow is zero (maybe its due to this recession). So, let me correct it before I lose my net present value.

Before signing off here's a lame joke about an Investment Bank's Balance Sheet I picked up from somewhere in the dubyadubyadubya.

"There are two sides to an Investment Bank's balance sheet: the left side and the right side.
On the left side there is nothing right, and on the right side there is nothing left."

Cheers.

Ciao 2008

(Source: http://news.yahoo.com/comics/)

Almost everyone I know feels relieved that the year 2008 has ended. The opinion across the board is the same. 2008 was like a roller-coaster ride that started on a very high note and ended with a stomach-churning steep fall, which sobered up many of us who were celebrating the good times. In my opinion, it was like having a morbid hangover after a great last night's party. Contrary to the year's first-half that brought a lot of cheer to everyone with each passing day, the second-half brought more and more grim news on a daily basis.

(Source: http://news.yahoo.com/comics/)

In a twisted way sort of way, 2008 taught us to be more careful, more economical and be more happy with less.

I wish that 2009 will be a lot better. For everyone. Happy New Year. Peace.

26/11: To all those innocent people and brave men and women who lost their lives. May their souls rest in peace. (Photo source: http://www.markmallett.com).

Perfect Timing

I just love these watch ads on print. The Swiss ones especially. "XXXXXXXX, Geneve, Swiss Made". Fill the XXXXXXXX with the name of your favorite Swiss watch. Different variations but essentially the same theme. Makes one feel that watchmaking is a cottage industry in Geneva. Which might well be the case. Almost all the brands' ads feel similar. Some show timepieces in such an enticing way that it might easily drive a person into becoming an obsessive watch addict. Put in a male celebrity in a black jacket (or a female one in a cocktail gown as the case maybe) and put a watch on their wrist. Some other brands show golf and tennis celebrities having a ball of a time wearing an expensive timepiece from the watchmaker's collection. While the dial's big enough to stand out like a neon sign, they try to make it as subtle as possible by focusing on the successful celebrity. Very understated. Very hush hush. It feels as if they are advertising some feminine care product (which, I must have to say are not so discreet these days).

There's a new James Bond movie. Which means Omega is going to throw all discreet stuff out of the window to make sure you know James Bond's timepiece of choice (the Omega Seamaster, just in case you didn't know) no matter in whichever corner of earth you are hiding. I am sure you must be familiar with the ad by now. Mr. Bond is tactfully holding a gun in such a way that the jacket and shirt cuffs move up to reveal the face of an expensive watch adorning the wrist of one of the most famous leading men on earth (or movies) with the byline "007's watch of choice" or something like that. You get the feeling that if you were lucky to get into the MI6 or 5 or whatever, you'd get a nicely cut suit and a Swiss watch as standard issues, which unfortunately, is not the case. But for all that advertising, I am sure the watch sells. I know. I know because I gifted myself a Swiss watch with my first full-time job's first paycheck (every cent of it went into the watch and I survived on borrowed bread and water for the next two months). What I didn't know at that time was that these watches were not as strong and rugged as they were made out to be. So though I didn't do any double somersaults or jump off planes without a parachute or go sailing in Monaco, within six months, my new shiny steel watchband was all scratched up. But despite that, the watch was worth it. It felt nice wearing something that cool. I didn't mind going on a diet for the next 30 days. But now I knew why Commander bond always wears a full sleeved shirt when he has a Swiss watch on. Q might allow James to bang up a couple of Aston Martins (no, again they are not standard issues in MI6, or 5 or whatever) in every new assignment, but will not tolerate even a microscopic scratch on his Swiss watch. That would amount to gross misconduct in Q's rule book. So the next time you buy an expensive Swiss watch, make sure you wear it when you are wearing your Sunday best. On other days, better wear your $20.00 Timex which you bought in that Thanksgiving sale. That's what I do. OK, Let's leave it at that.

I recently came across another ad that takes the cake. This one is for Swatch and is also related to the new James Bond movie. Now, before you start thinking that James Bond has gone shopping for cheap stuff because of the economic downturn, let me explain. His watch continues to be Omega Seamaster (recession be damned!). The Swatch watch (I like the sound of that) I am talking about is worn by the villain. Now that's what I call a flash of genius. Since the leading man is already tied to another brand by contractual obligations, get the next most important man in the movie, the villain to endorse for your product. They even have a website listing the "007 Villain Collection" (http://www.swatch007villains.com). I never knew that the Bond Villains also had their own preference for watches. Or, maybe they chose Swatch simply because it kept more accurate time than all those handmade automatics (I meant watches, not guns) and costed a fractionth of the price. After all, for these supervillains, time was of essence and every second counted while their diabolical minds planned to take over the world. Whereas for Mr. Bond, he'd get into action only after downing a few martinis, checking out some local beauties and getting almost killed. Talk about lethargy. A few seconds here and there wouldn't matter. That heavy slab of metal called Omega tied to your wrist can really restrict your movements. I also see another reason for Swatch being the Villains' choice. The watches are quite funky and over the top, just like the villains' personalities. Cool. My next watch is going to be a Swatch.

Welcome to Wall Street, Las Vegas

With all this financial meltdown going on, saw a nice ad in the newspaper. Sometimes a picture says a thousand unsaid words.

The caption reads: "When did Wall Street and Las Vegas merge?". To be honest, to me, they always were the two faces of the same coin. You risked what you could and come out a winner (rarely), or get burnt (and learn your lesson) or lose your shirt. Of course the odds of losing might be different (in Vegas they say the house always wins) but then isn't it something you always knew? As the French say, C'est la vie.

Gordon Gekko's thumping statement "Greed is good" in the movie 'Wall Street' no longer feels like sweet music to my ears. And as the greedy guys like me get cautious, Mr. Warren Buffett goes shopping. Just like he said, “Be fearful when others are greedy. when others are fearful be greedy.” For me, its a lesson well learnt. Greed's definitely not good.