Its one of those days again when something inside me has snapped and I have got extremely testy. During this time, my temper sits on a powder keg that has an extremely short fuse and at a slight pull of a trigger, there is a gradual transformation in me from a meek Dr. Jekyll to a monstrous Mr. Hyde. Uh.. its not a gradual transformation. It explodes fast enough to put off anyone who happens to be having the bad luck of being in the same room as I am at that moment.
Most of the times, I try to keep my emotions well under check and even have a smile pasted on my face in a hot situation to keep things from blowing up. I'm even chivalrous to a fault. But when I'm Mr. Hyde, its a different story altogether. No man or no woman (kids are luckier because I feel that children should not be exposed to such bad behavior) is spared. Its like a rhino rampage in a china shop. I'm surprised at my own behavior when I think about it afterwards. But by then, its a tad late. Things get snapped to a breaking point. But I try to apologize and make up. Its tough (to apologize), but its better to make amends then live with it. Needless to say, its very damaging.
At other times, I simply get furious at some one-off incident that would have happened ages ago and purse my lips till the point my teeth start to bite into them. Ferociously furious, I must say. And then it passes off. Don't know what triggers these volatile memories. I really must put a lid on them or start looking at the funny side of them.
So, when some of my buddies say that they have not seen me lose my temper, I murmur Ethan Hunt's memorable quote from 'Mission Impossible', "you have never seen me very upset." Or, for a change (depends on the day of the week), I use Bruce Banner's quip, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." from 'The Hulk'. Nice lines, those.
Anyways, to cut the long story short, I'm pretty bad at anger management and equally bad at swallowing a tantrum when I am upset. I mean when I am very upset that is.
Thankfully, my bouts of upset mode are far and few and I would like to make them much farther and fewer before I gnash my teeth to bone dust and rip my remaining hair out. Small things upset me or at least used to upset me. But nowadays as experience is tutoring me, I'm getting more thick-skinned and ignoring the smaller irritants. Nevertheless, I still don't want to be known as Captain Haddock (from those favorite Tintin comics) who's not had his dose of Loch Lomond whisky that day. So, I am in search for that elusive elixir that will keep my temper in check. I'm still searching and I have promised myself that I'll find it someday, for everyone's sake.
So as a part of this quest, I google sites that say that they help or give free advice on how to control one's "negative" emotions. I've found a good one in http://www.apa.org (American Psychological Association). It has some nice and basic tips, nothing that hotheads like me have not heard of before but effective nevertheless. Or so say the Psychologists. Some of these tips are:
- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
- Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
- Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
- Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
I will try to remember them the next time I begin to morph into Mr. Hyde (Eeeaaaargh, get that thing off me!). This way I hope that Dr. Hyde stays firmly in control. Till the time I master my zen and memorize APA's tips, some more china shops will get in the way of those rampaging rhinos. I just hope this modern china is really unbreakable as they advertise.
Most of the times, I try to keep my emotions well under check and even have a smile pasted on my face in a hot situation to keep things from blowing up. I'm even chivalrous to a fault. But when I'm Mr. Hyde, its a different story altogether. No man or no woman (kids are luckier because I feel that children should not be exposed to such bad behavior) is spared. Its like a rhino rampage in a china shop. I'm surprised at my own behavior when I think about it afterwards. But by then, its a tad late. Things get snapped to a breaking point. But I try to apologize and make up. Its tough (to apologize), but its better to make amends then live with it. Needless to say, its very damaging.
At other times, I simply get furious at some one-off incident that would have happened ages ago and purse my lips till the point my teeth start to bite into them. Ferociously furious, I must say. And then it passes off. Don't know what triggers these volatile memories. I really must put a lid on them or start looking at the funny side of them.
So, when some of my buddies say that they have not seen me lose my temper, I murmur Ethan Hunt's memorable quote from 'Mission Impossible', "you have never seen me very upset." Or, for a change (depends on the day of the week), I use Bruce Banner's quip, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." from 'The Hulk'. Nice lines, those.
Anyways, to cut the long story short, I'm pretty bad at anger management and equally bad at swallowing a tantrum when I am upset. I mean when I am very upset that is.
Thankfully, my bouts of upset mode are far and few and I would like to make them much farther and fewer before I gnash my teeth to bone dust and rip my remaining hair out. Small things upset me or at least used to upset me. But nowadays as experience is tutoring me, I'm getting more thick-skinned and ignoring the smaller irritants. Nevertheless, I still don't want to be known as Captain Haddock (from those favorite Tintin comics) who's not had his dose of Loch Lomond whisky that day. So, I am in search for that elusive elixir that will keep my temper in check. I'm still searching and I have promised myself that I'll find it someday, for everyone's sake.
So as a part of this quest, I google sites that say that they help or give free advice on how to control one's "negative" emotions. I've found a good one in http://www.apa.org (American Psychological Association). It has some nice and basic tips, nothing that hotheads like me have not heard of before but effective nevertheless. Or so say the Psychologists. Some of these tips are:
- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."
- Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
- Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
- Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
I will try to remember them the next time I begin to morph into Mr. Hyde (Eeeaaaargh, get that thing off me!). This way I hope that Dr. Hyde stays firmly in control. Till the time I master my zen and memorize APA's tips, some more china shops will get in the way of those rampaging rhinos. I just hope this modern china is really unbreakable as they advertise.
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