My Therapy for Insomnia

The past few weeks have nearly turned me into an insomniac. In a bid to finish my assignments after long hours of work, I've had some four tough weeks of late nights. I can safely say that I haven't slept before half-past-one (a.m.) during this time. And along with me, everyone else around me also felt it too. Late nights mixed with early mornings can be a nasty cocktail with a bad hangover and results in an overall bad attitude. So its a habit I wanted to break by trying different things. I decided to work out a bit more than usual so that I could be tired and flop to bed by eight. I kicked the habit of drinking a small cup of instant coffee after six in the evening (oh how I miss that cuppa!). I also kicked the habit of eating an apple as some health article said that an apple might not be able to keep the doctor away but it surely keeps you awake like any caffeinated beverage. I even tried to listen to late night radio in order to doze off listening to good music (I discovered that these radio channels play some good songs during that time). But none of these seemed to work. Finally, before it got worse, just as I was about to resort to some form of medical treatment, I remembered that there was a better way. And that was listening to my iPod before going to bed. To be precise, listening to an audiobook on my iPod before going to bed.

I had downloaded 21 chapters of a novel "Murder in the Gunroom" by H. Beam Piper from librivox.org (legally) about eight months back. However, I never had a chance to go through the entire story. No matter how many times I decided to finish it, I was never successful. Once I started listening to one of the chapters, I'd doze off midway. I might have listened to Chapter 12 at least 15 times (or maybe more. I've lost count), but so far have not been able to get past it. To give full credit to the readers, they have done a nice job and I'd love to sit through the entire story. Even the story is not bad. However, those readers also have some hypnotic quality in their voice that gradually lulls you into sleep. Nice. So I decided to give this a try again. I knew that if this didn't work nothing would. And I was not disappointed. I still don't know who the murderer is but the therapy is working like a charm. Now I have gone back to my 11:30 p.m. schedule. And I am yet to go beyond Chapter 12. Feels much better now. So if you are not able to sleep and want a cure, give it a try. Time for my powernap. Until next time, ciao.

Marketing Satisfaction

Last week came with some good news. I cleared my Strategic Marketing course with a Satisfactory grade. Considering the fact that my Marketing skills are not much to talk about it was an achievement on its own. Let's say hypothetically, if I had to sell a gleaming red, one-of-a-kind Ferrari to a very rich Arab Sheikh who had an oil-well in his backyard and an F1 size racing track in his living room, I would still botch up the deal. Which is all the more reason that I was happy that I had managed through the course.

But in the course of working on my assignment, the discovery I made was, the huge number of books that have been written on Marketing. I know this because while researching for my assignments, I must have gone through at least a dozen of them. Each gave a new insight about how one analyzes the market, the opportunities, the SWOT of the product and so on. All these books did make me realize one thing. I was not cut out for Marketing. It is not my cup of tea. There's way too much art of verbal (fast-talking), research and visual representation involved to sell an idea. So no matter how eager or how willing your customer is, if you cannot sell, he will not buy. Which is the reason why I wouldn't be able to sell that Ferrari. But let me try though. Getting a "Satisfactory" grade was good to begin with. But as they say, practice is a whole different animal than theory. And before practice, I'll have to work on my next assignment, IT Strategies for Companies. Ciao.

>> YSR RIP.

Movies To Silliness....

Whew! its been another whirlwind week. Usually I get sucked into such weekends once in 3-4 years. Maybe five. And not if I can help it. This time I happened to be on ground zero and there was no way I could avoid the backbreaking work that came with it. We had to do a bit of re-structuring and had to redo the closets. Anyways, the weekend came by and went away and I was still in active duty longing for an evening's rest. So when the moment finally came, it was a welcome sight. It was also a week when we got a new car. A process that requires a lot of paperwork especially if you are resorting to external financing for the car purchase. Just a bit too much. Sometimes you cannot pack enough into a single weekend.

To get a breather, I decided to check out some movie reviews so that I could plan for an evening at the theaters. And that's when it all started. After reading a review in a famous website, I happened to see the readers' comments posted below the review. Strangely enough, the comments had nothing to with the movie or about the review. Some of them were just brickbats hurled at the reviewer questioning his IQ. Some were hurled at the lead actors of the movie (just because they were not the favorite actors of the reader). Some were verbal duels between one reader and the other, just because one guy didn't like the way the other reader crossed his t's. And between all this muddle, some comments were about all things that we normally don't like to talk about and then some. I got so caught up in reading this vile stuff that I decided to check the comments for other movie reviews. As expected, they were getting worse by the minute. Some were so bad that they had been deleted by the moderators for abuse. So I didn't go there. But the thing I didn't understand was, why were people using this forum for a slanging contest? Was it deliberate or was it just a normal reaction to any article?

Recently a celebrity blogger threatened to stop blogging because of the readers' rude and abusive comments on a regular basis. Looks like this pandemic has spread wide across the internet. I remember another incident that happened in one of the mailing groups I was part of. A harmless meeting request mail sent by a lady was responded to by a very nasty mail. The sender used all his bad mouthing skills on her and I am sure that if that lady had seen the email, she'd be reduced to tears. The group admin took immediate action on the hatemail and traced out the email id. It so turned out that this email was sent by a schoolkid just because he didn't understand why he was receiving these "stupid" mails from some unknown group though it was he who had registered to be a part of this group. And the school happened to be one of those elite private schools where the well-heeled send their kids to become future responsible citizens. A pity.

Just like some tools are not supposed to be handled by a monkey, some profanities should not be learned or used by some people. It gives them a bad case of halitosis. In some cases it goes beyond that. If the person at the receiving end is a celebrity then the intensity goes up. And ever since people have been able to hide behind IP addresses and funny aliases, they have expressed their freedom of speech a bit too often and without purpose. Its like that scene from medieval times where the armies stood safely atop the castle towers and poured boiling oil over their enemies attempting to climb the castle walls. At least there it made sense. Here, it just doesn't. How I wish these literate people who've got access to the internet do not use it to show off their limited knowledge. Well, let me get back and watch that movie anyways. Hope it takes my mind off this silliness.

Weekend Buzz: Concerts, Flights, Flu and Assignments

Last weekend started off on a nice note. Saturday was the day of the 'Burn Notice' marathon and I was able to catch up on the episodes I had missed earlier. Then started a dull Sunday that brightened up after I got myself invited to a concert. More than the concert (though the concert was good), it was the venue that proved to be more interesting. Stern Grove, as the venue is known, is a natural canyon kind of formation surrounded by eucalyptus (or redwood, take your pick. They're really tall) trees. It forms a perfect natural amphitheater with excellent acoustics despite the sound dampening affect of the woods. The efforts that have gone to preserve this natural habitat in the middle of a city are truly commendable. With a great weather, and with several pretty faces making it a point to attend, it was a nice way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon. What followed was a great dinner at a downtown restaurant. But the icing on the cake was the completion of an economics assignment which I well believed was nothing short of a miracle. Truly satisfying.

This weekend started with the long travel back home. Before departure, as I stared at the huge aircraft (a 747-400) from the boarding gate, I realized how ungainly this bird looks on the tarmac in contrast to its sleek profile in the air. So while I was having these thoughts about aesthetics and functionality, a pretty couple walked upto me and wanted their picture to be taken with the 747's nose in the background. I agree that I look friendly and approachable enough for being trusted with a camera, but being photographed with a huge nose in the background is beyond me. Nevertheless, it was an idea and after the couple left, I took a photograph of the nose for myself. Just in case.

Anyways, upon arrival back home, I was amused and also happy to find a bunch of medical staff with nose masks scanning passengers for possible symptoms of swine flu. We had to clear their scrutiny before we could approach the customs and immigration. Looks like a lot of thought had also gone into the H1N1 medical information form (that was given to us just before landing)considering that some of these forms are really tiresome to begin with. It was crisp and simple. But despite the med staff's efficient processing, some of my fellow passengers were still impatient with them. I guess its just a force of habit. I wish the passengers showed a little more courtesy to these med staff who are working unearthly hours just to ensure we did not go home with an infection and afflict our near and dear with this now (in)famous flu.

Well, swine flu or not, now that I am back home, it will be a few more days before my circadian rhythms get adjusted to the local timezone. Till then, I will be holidaying at the Wii Sports Resort at 3 am in the mornings.

Ads, Adwares And Removing Malwares

Whenever I open my mailbox, I see these goofy and irritating ads on the side announcing "singles in your area". More than being irritated, I am amazed to see that such pretty faces with a successful profession (usually listed below the mugshot) are still single. So is it for real? I have never bothered to find out because I know for sure that its as untrue as it gets. The world sadly, is not as sad as they make it out to be. In my opinion, all good girls are taken, and taken for good. But then, nobody would even take a look at these ads if they didn't put such faces. And marketers have had to put pretty women to sell razors, after shaves, suits and even men's underwear (especially men's underwear). So I am not surprised. Well, the long and short of it, these ads don't work and they are mighty irritating. And the only way I suppose I can avoid such ads would be to change my relationship status in my email profile because I've read somewhere that they place these ads 'intelligently' after going through this piece of personal information in your profile. Let me try it out and see if it works.

On a side note, I came across this nice site called www.geekstogo.com which is a great resource for getting rid of malware and viruses from your PC (I wish they could come up with a software to get rid of these personals' ads too). The forums contain a vast wealth of information and the experts are really what they claim to be, experts. And I know this from my personal experience where I was able to nail a Trojan.TDSS through one such expert's help. While doing so, I got enough insights into what a Trojan was, what a hijack was, what a spyware was and so on. So now you know where to go in case your computer is infected.

My Frasier Moments

I was watching this old re-run of Frasier the other day where Dr. Frasier Crane makes an absolute fool of himself in front of his radio audience and later continues his bumbling ways at a conference. And each incident happens to be wilder than the other. Well then, that's Dr. Crane for you. Never a dull moment, thanks to his innate sense of bad humor. I have done enough silly things in my life to make me cringe with embarrassment whenever I remember them. At such times, the feeling of "Why me?" haunts me over and over again. In some extreme cases, these I-will-haunt-you-for-the-rest-of-my-life moments caused more harm than embarrassment and the aftershocks can be felt even today. Truth be told, some of them were totally my doing and the rest, well let's just say, they just happened. Or maybe I was in the wrong spot at the wrong time. And my friends are never the worse for causing me grief over those silly situations. So every day I try hard to avoid getting myself into such situations but eventually I do get into them. There is some sort of unknown gravity that pulls me into such blackholes. I call such incidents my Frasier moments because I have seen no one else excepting Frasier get into such spots and not able to get away with it. And me too. I'm not as snooty as Dr. Crane, but hey, embarrassment knows no boundaries, class or creed. And as I mentioned in one of my earlier posts that I've had several of these, and then some.

I remember about this incident, where I was in a conference and I was talking to this small, laconic gentleman about some topic I pretended I knew a lot about and this small, laconic gentleman was nodding in amazement as if to show how well I knew my stuff. Turns out that the small, laconic gentleman was actually a professor in that field. And I came to know about it well after I finished with, "you should read about it sometime, its an interesting subject." The rest of the evening I maintained the same space between him as Pluto maintains with the Sun in our Solar System. There was this other time when I turned up for a dinner unshaven in jeans and tees only to find that it was a formal gathering of black jackets (if not ties). Reason? I missed out on reading the fine print announcing the dress code. I walked out of the gathering before someone could pull me in to save myself from further trouble and in the course had to miss a great dinner. The one I remember most and I hate the most is the one where I once gave a present (don't remember what) to a girl on a Valentine's Day in front of all her friends while I was in college. She of course calmly rejected it (speaking of which, I would have been surprised if she hadn't). That was the last time she ever talked to me and that was the last time anyone ever took me seriously again in college. Juvenile, but remember, years later, Fred Savage still hates himself for doing such stuff in that wonderful TV series 'Wonder Years'. Even after all these years, someone from my college days remembered me from that incident. And we had a good laugh at it, at my expense. Sweet. All of these incidents are just the tip of a massive iceberg and there are worse ones lurking somewhere down in the murky bottom. I would never forgive myself if I take them out of my black book and put them here. Never a dull moment but enough miserable moments that caused some flutter, giggles and of course to me a lot of embarrassment. And the only reason I'm putting some of them (some as in, 3 in a million. OK let's round it to the nearest billion) here is because my friend today was talking about this embarrassing moment he recently had and was going on and on about it. And of course the Frasier episode too. So its no longer "Why me?" but "Why us?". Well, I'm feeling much better now.

Life in the Jogger's Trail and the Trojan Wars

Ahh.. The sweetness of doing nothing. Things had been busy out here and I did not have much time to do anything that was even remotely relaxing. But starting this week, all that has changed. Jogging, swimming (or at least trying to learn the art) and more jogging has helped. Every day, an hour of jogging after work is making me feel that I am on vacation already. And the lovely trail adds to the feeling. So I have now realized that pulling out an hour for yourself can be very good for you, or at least gives you the feeling that it does a whole lot of good for you. In addition the lazy and twisty jogging trail gives you a nice feeling of doing just nothing. Its another story whether in reality it helps or not.

But because such good blissful things don't last forever, and the laws of averages always tend to catch up with you, I got a rude alert when my computer was attacked by a Trojan. And so, for the past few days, after a good jog, I have been researching to find a good site that would help me get rid of this nasty stuff. Unfortunately, nothing seems to be working. The more I research the more frustrating it becomes. Ever since the attack happened, this hijack has also been directing me to a dead site with a Chinese domain name whenever I click on a Google search result. So, now I realize what happens when you start to browse sites you are not supposed to tread on. I've decided that I will stick to the ones that are familiar or in the web parlance 'trusted'. Lesson well learnt, but the hard way. Before the Trojan creates more damage than it must have done already, I need to win this battle first. And then follow it up with a well-deserved vacation. San Tropez has a nice weather at this time of the year. So I heard.

From Cars To Business To Cars

From a car magazine to a business fortnightly. There has been a gradual transition in my reading habits. And if it were someone else, I would surely call it a sign of aging. Why else would someone start reading business articles with increased interest (from cover to cover) rather than ogle at new automobiles’ pics (Motor porn as some seem to call it)? Is it a sudden realization about where all that moolah to buy good cars (cars I was dreaming about all these years but couldn’t have or rather covet) comes from? Or is it because I don’t understand the techno babble about these high-tech cars? Or..? Maybe, just maybe, just hypothetically, these cars no longer turn me on? All these questions seem to indicate that I am growing senile. Well, the evidence does overwhelmingly seem to suggest so, but its not entirely true.

I still have a thing for cars. Nice cars that is. The real reason for drastic change is the fact that I have come to the fag end of my one-year financial management course. The course has given me new insights into the way modern-day businesses are conducted or at least should be conducted in theory. The last few weeks have been quite stressful considering the fact that the final semester was coming to an end with a series of tests. And boy! Am I glad that they got over? I would definitely consider it a good learning experience and considering the fact that I now understand some hitherto unknown concepts makes me extremely happy. It will still take me sometime before I can completely understand a balance sheet, but I am getting there. And helping me in this process are these nice business articles about economic and trade policies, write-ups about companies, businesses, etc. Matching the theories from class notes to the real world scenarios in the magazine is a good exercise in understanding the nitty gritties of tradecraft. Which in turn has helped me in facing the exams with better confidence. Which is the reason why I had kept all those car mags in temporary cold storage and brought the business mags out. So I rest my case. It is not a sign of aging. It was out of pure necessity. But a useful necessity in the end. Its made me a bit wiser in terms of finances and present value of money and all other things that make a business business. But as you might have observed by now, it has done nothing to improve my horrendous writing skills. Maybe I will take up a writing course in the future. Back to my car mags now.

What an eventful week or two it has been! - II: Killing a Centaur

Moving onto the next one. Another white elephant of our society, Air India, is going bust. And just before the government was all set to come out with a disinvestment plan. Air India employees sure have a sense of timing. As is the story with other airlines, the management of the airlines sure is trying its best to land the jumbo on flat tires. But hey, wait! The brakes are burnt too! So who's gonna stop the crash? We the taxpayers, of course! I am really saddened by the way Air India has been continuously losing its sheen over the years. It has been a constant run downhill. And I think the problem started on the day government said, "Thanks J.R.D., we'll takeover the reins of the Centaur (Air India's then logo) now and don't worry, its in safe hands."

I happen to remember an incident when the then Civil Aviation Minister Mr. Madhavrao Scindia got the brilliant idea of changing the logo from the Centaur to a golden Sun on a red background. This act of his pushed Air India into the red because AI did not have enough cash on its balance sheet to repaint all the aircraft in its fleet. I cannot fathom why our ministers always focused on grandiose plans for AI but never focused on one area that helps an airline more than anything else. Customer service. With such a wide network and excellent pilots and technical ground staff, if there was anything AI lacked, it was the customer service. And it continues to do so. OK, the mascot is a Maharaja, to give you a feeling that you will be treated as a Maharaja once you are aboard the aircraft. But, unfortunately it is not the case. Almost every employee (barring a few) feels that he or she is a Maharaja or a Maharani (as the case maybe) and every passenger who gets on board is a peasant destined to the misery of air travel. Otherwise how can you explain the indifference that starts right from the ground staff who don't give a hoot about how to handle your baggage, or where it is supposed to go? This attitude of indifference stems from the fact that they know that their jobs are secure no matter what they do (or don't do). In case any action is taken against them, the employees' union will go on a strike. More about that later.

In these times, for the airlines to be successful, what matters is good customer service which I should say does not cost more than offering the same service with a little more care and of course, a smile. But the crew and staff of AI never seem to understand this. I have seen my friends fly AI (with pride because it was an Indian airline) come back dejected and frustrated with the kind of service they got. The two times I had to fly AI, it was an experience not worth remembering. One time, they almost stranded me in Changi’s transit lounge where a not so nice Indian born (un-aptly named Bhagat Singh) Singaporean accused me of traveling to Singapore without onward reservation because I was planning to slip into Singapore as an illegal (perhaps he or his forefathers must have done just that). AI had conveniently forgotten to update the online system with my reservation details. My baggage was dumped outside the transit area and I had no way of claiming it because I did not have a visa to go outside. Fortunately for me, a nice lady at the immigration desk granted me a 24-hour visa (after hearing my story) to go into the departures area, claim my baggage and check-in again. I had to spend the whole night in the terminal waiting for AI’s Singapore office to open up the next day and clear up the issue. Tom Hanks’ ‘Terminal’ still reminds me of that long night in Changi. Moral of the story: As much as I hate to say this, never fly AI again. Especially if you are an Indian.

As I mentioned before, the indifference could be because the AI employees think their jobs are safe since they have the loving protection of the State and no matter what they do (or don't do), they'll get their paycheck. If they don’t get a raise or get paid on time, they can go on a strike and hit the passenger where it hurts him/her the most. Cancel the flights and ground everyone. Not nice. I am sure that these employees make more money than an average Indian. They have their own housing colonies at prime locations and of course other perks which are unheard of in other professions. Great managers like Russi Mody and Y. Deveshwar were unable to manage AI and quit, thanks to an unrelenting and rigid employees' union, pilots' union, cabin crews' union, ground staff union, etc. You name a role, the employees have a union for it. And the Ministry of Civil Aviation never actually was effective against these unions. But, unfortunately, all of these unions and the Ministry were never unionized in trying to making a passenger feel less miserable while traveling with them. What more can I say? Yes, a word about the Centaur hotels managed by AI. The less said the better. Anybody who’s given this hotel chain a five star or a four star rating was not in his real senses or never knew what those ratings meant. Classic case of bad management. ‘Nuff said.

Despite having said all this, for me, AI had always been the connection with distant lands since my childhood. Those funny ads of the Maharaja flying to Oslo, Amsterdam, New York and other places are still fresh in my mind. I am sure it is the case with other people too. It would be safe to say, that for a long time, the Maharaja was the most recognized character after the Amul baby. Which is why it makes me sadder still that AI is going belly up. A fine example of bad management and rampant indifference. AI get your act together and get moving. Bigger airlines have faltered despite being good airlines. The government might bail you out despite your bad ass attitude but people won't stand you much longer.

What an eventful week or two it has been! - All Men Equal - But Some Women Are More Than Equal

Michael Jackson, R.I.P.

What a week or two it has been! The news channels just kept it rolling starting with the elephant statue controversy in Uttar Pradesh.

At the speed Mayawati's sculptors are churning out those elephants, Thailand should be worried considering that the country is going to lose its sobriquet of the Land of White Elephants. I am sure, that Uttar Pradesh now has more stone elephants than the real ones. OK, they look good (elephants are undoubtedly very graceful creatures), but, is it a coincidence that these animals are her Mayawati's political party’s symbols? Probably not. Because the statues of Her Mightiness are also standing at various 'chowks' and centers of her state/fiefdom. And all that money to fund those pachyderms comes from the taxpayer. I’d be happier if the money was spent to save some real lions and tigers or even given away in charity. Hope Her Mightiness spared some pocket change on them from her own millions that she has pocketed over the years. Proclaiming herself to be a leader of backward classes, she sure is bringing equality among the caste-ridden society in her own little way. And that is by making the entire state go backwards into decades and maybe centuries. So the moral of the story? if you can't chart any progress for your people, do the next best thing, hit the cruise control. In reverse. Result? Everyone's backward and everyone's exploited and everyone's happy because everyone is now backward and exploited. Mission Social Equality achieved. I had last heard of such excesses only during the times of Roman emperors and in the modern times, in some small African countries (some guy built a church with a dome larger than the Vatican in a famine ridden country, don’t remember who or don’t remember where). Wheels in retro do move faster than wheels in progress. Uttar Pradesh, you are headed south. Politically and socially, that is. And I just hope that the Supreme Court verdict puts brakes on this elephant rampage.

The Source of all the Smoke

There is no smoke without fire. Good. I can now boast of a good opening line. As people and their jobs are reeling under recession, fingers are starting to point at people who caused it in the first place. Everyone has his or her own theory. But the majority of them are blaming the banks and the MBAs who were running them. And what do the MBAs do? They begin to blame their alma mater. B-Schools unfortunately are cornered and nowhere to run. At least a recent article in Harvard Business Review seems to indicate that. So in a way the fire (which I was talking about in my opening line) seems to have started here. There seems to be a sense of worry regarding how some courses are being taught in classes in silos. Professors now realize that the case studies that are taken up are not being seen in an holistic way but instead in a very narrow sense that suits the requirement of that particular course. And then comes the question of ethics. Most of know by now that ethics and all things legal were thrown out of the glassed skyscrapers before conducting businesses that ultimately led to this humogous depression. So Profs being Profs, are quick to point out remedial measures to correct the problem. One of the suggestions is that all students passing out should sign the "MBA Oath" (which promotes ethical conduct of business) at graduation which is being put in practice in some Business colleges. In addition, there is a suggestion to make major improvements in the MBA curricula. Profs insist that the courses should focus more on business ethics so that people (read MBA Grads) can conduct business ethically. Sure. Its like taking a slap on the wrist after committing murder. Or locking the stables with a Yale lock (not the B-School) long after the horses have bolted. Maybe, as a fresh start, these B-Schools should start teaching the new grads ways to earn back people's trust, and jobs and also find ways to earn and pay everyone back every penny (with considerable interest) their seniors lost for them. That's what I would call value add. Are the firestarters listening?

Travel blogs I follow

Beware What You Wish For

During the ill-famed 'monkey' series of India vs. Australia last year, I fervently wished that Kumble the gentleman of Indian cricket send Symmo and Gilly packing in his first over to teach the high and mighty Punter's men a lesson. But it never happened. Yesterday was another story. Kumble got Gilly in his first over for a nought and Symmo in his second over just as he was turning to be a match hero. A wish I no longer wished for had finally come true. Nowadays, as a Deccan Chargers supporter, whenever Gilly gets caught or bowled, I let out a sigh, and when Symmo has to take the long walk back, I shut down the TV or walk away in disgust. Such is life. Sometimes a wish coming true a wee bit too late may no longer be a wish but otherwise. How IPL has turned the cricket on its head is beyond me. Lesson well-learnt. Thankfully, the team won and lifted the trophy. But now I believe that there is a higher Force that controls our destiny. And believe me, that Force has a sense of humor. So beware what you wish for.

(Source: in.rediff.com and Reuters)

Along with IPL, I was following another story. It was the political chess game that was being played between DMK and Congress. I was really curious as to why Congress was not happy to take the two ex-ministers of DMK back into the cabinet fold. I got my answer in an editorial by a famous political analyst. Seems that while one minister ensured that the government (read country) lost Rs. 10,000 crores (around $2 billion USD) so that his family could benefit, the other minister diverted all the road projects from across the country to his state. Why? so that his family could benefit. See the common points? 'So that the family can benefit.' Nice. To paraphrase JFK, 'don't ask what you have done for the country, just grab whatever the country has to offer you.' Politics can be a good business. Resourceful people can build a country or some do just the opposite with politics. I just wish we don't get more of such ministers to run the country. So that everyone can benefit. And I just hope my wish does not come true at a wrong moment. Just when I stand to regret my wish. How I wish!

Cars I would love to see in Transformers 2

I happened to watch Transformers (the movie) after my friend insisted that its gonna be a cool movie. Cool movie it sure was but in my opinion, it had similiarities with Indpendence Day and Armageddon. Having said that, the robots transforming themselves into cars, trucks, fighter planes, etc., was really the best part. And cool too. Besides Megan Fox that is. And Bumblebee of course. And the little squeaky evil transformer that becomes a cell phone. But, honestly, who would want to see robots transforming themselves into GM cars (ok, the Chevy Camaro concept of Bumblebee was cool ) and trucks when there are are cooler looking vehicles around? So I gave it a thought on what cars should the transformers be. And to my surprise, I came up with a big list.

Ninja Transformers: Perhaps this is a no-brainer. What kinda cars would Ninja Transformers transform themselves into? Japanese of course. And in my opinion, to lead the pack would be Acura and Honda. Yea, yea, Acura is American but isn't it Honda's? The new Acura models really look the part. With a feline grin and a out-of-this-world grille, you get the feeling that these cars are a bit more than just cars and have a secret life of their own once you lock them up in your garage at the end of the day.


If the Transformers are not into Acura or Honda then they can choose to become one of those cool Infinitis. Before I forget, Nissan GT-R too. And for the Ninja master? Nissan Murano of course. For the racing Ninjas? Subarus and Mitsubishi Evos. Toyotas (with the exception of the LandCruiser) and Lexuses (with the exception of IS420) seem to be a little plain jane when compared to the ones mentioned above.

For the bad Ninja Transformers? Subaru Tribeca B9 (the older version). A ghastly design if ever there was one. And an equally hideous dash (as if the whole thing started to melt in the hot sun).

And their leader? The Acura RDX. What about the wise Ninja who looks harmless from outside but is really an old pro at his work? Maybe Honda Element. Maybe. Optimus Prime must be frowning already.

Euro Transformers:From the Far-East to the West, moving to Europe and starting with the Germans. Topping the list would be the BMW 5-series. Those flame surfaced headlamps with corona rings are enough to send shivers to any driver who's seen them sneaking up on his rearview mirror in twilight. Audi's R8 and A4 with those daytime LED running lights are no less intimidating either. So is the revamped LED-embellished Q7.

And from the 3-pointed star family definitely the McLaren'ed Stirling Moss SL55. And Red Unimog trucks. How uber cool is that?

From the Porsche family it would definitely be the Cayenne Turbo S.

Super Transformers: Moving onto Italy. How about Lambo Gallardo or Reventon for starters? No mods required. All one has to do is raise its scissor doors and its transformed into a flying pterodactyl. Even Countach and Diablo wouldn't stay far behind. With bright orange and lime green colors, they'd bring some cheer too.

Ferrari Enzo is another one on the list from the supercar family. I would have included Bugatti Veyron too but its too rounded for my liking. Nevertheless a transformer with 1000 hp and 400 kph top speed is not bad to have. A Maserati Q'porte would be a cool addition too.

Baby Transformers: Well, small cars they maybe but the list is not small. You can have the Abarth modded 500, the Mini Cooper S and even a souped up VW Beetle. The new 2008 VW Scirocco (hope I got the name right) with a green paint job also looks sufficiently mean to join the club. A Tata Nano wouldn't be far behind. Small it maybe but it does have some character.

And as I keep thinking, the list just keeps increasing. Let's stop here. For this edition of Transformers, I think this starcast is sufficient. We can have the next list for Transformers 3. Until then, let's hope we have cooler cars in Transformer 2. Besides Megan Fox that is.

Smart Thinking for Greener Tomorrow

The new Honda Accord V6 is really a nice car. Though I am not a great fan of the Honda designs (the new Civic is an exception to this rule), I just love their engines. And I am impressed with the new technology they have incorporated into the V6 engine, especially the VCM (Variable Cylinder Management) which ensures that only a required number of cylinders work at any given time. It also makes me wonder as to why other car makers never came up with this simple idea. If someone actually did, looks like it never got popular. Honda engineers definitely deserve a pat on the back for this genius of a technology. Imagine, for a car weighing close to 2 tonnes if only 3 cylinders out of 6 can help it cruise along in "economy" mode (nice), then why can't smaller cars (weighing less than a tonne) have a technology that will help them cruise on only 1 or 2 cylinders in "economy" mode? It would do the world a whole lot of good by reducing CO₂ and other harmful gas emissions. Hope the rest of the automakers follow suit. Or, at least, for starters, Honda should introduce this technology in its other models. ASAP.

(source: honda.com)

Weathering a Tough Season

It has been a very busy last two weeks. The previous weekend started off in a waiting room of a hospital. In fact I was in hospital on the polling day. And I'm not happy. Waiting rooms of hospitals always have an eerie air about them, at least for me. There is something about hospitals that gives you both hope and despair at the same time. And the waiting gets to you if one of your loved ones (in this case my Dad) is undergoing treatment. Anyways, after a very brief stint and with good treatment, my Dad’s back home again. Here I must thank the Docs and the nursing staff for his speedy recovery and also for restoring normalcy. Feels good to be back home. Both for him and for me.

(source: weather.com)

And while all this happened, the mercury soared like the stock market indices of a bygone era (yea those days seem to have happened a long time ago indeed). Considering the heat wave this year, I am sure the meteorologists might have to come up with a new scale for measuring temperatures. Move over Fahrenheit and Celsius, these are the days of the global warming. Hope we get to celebrate the next Earth Day on a cooler day. From the temperatures predicted in weather.com (image posted above) looks like there is no respite at least for some time to come. So for the rest of this summer, I will step outside only as a last resort. Until then, I’ll try to do something useful such as working on my assignments. At least that way I can make up for the lost time. Isn’t there any recession for hot summers?

Speaking of recession, workwise, recession has finally caught up with us. It was heartbreaking to find that some of the folks I knew got the pink slips. I just hope they find something fast and have a great future ahead.

Upset? Me? You've got to be kidding.. yea right.

Its one of those days again when something inside me has snapped and I have got extremely testy. During this time, my temper sits on a powder keg that has an extremely short fuse and at a slight pull of a trigger, there is a gradual transformation in me from a meek Dr. Jekyll to a monstrous Mr. Hyde. Uh.. its not a gradual transformation. It explodes fast enough to put off anyone who happens to be having the bad luck of being in the same room as I am at that moment.

Most of the times, I try to keep my emotions well under check and even have a smile pasted on my face in a hot situation to keep things from blowing up. I'm even chivalrous to a fault. But when I'm Mr. Hyde, its a different story altogether. No man or no woman (kids are luckier because I feel that children should not be exposed to such bad behavior) is spared. Its like a rhino rampage in a china shop. I'm surprised at my own behavior when I think about it afterwards. But by then, its a tad late. Things get snapped to a breaking point. But I try to apologize and make up. Its tough (to apologize), but its better to make amends then live with it. Needless to say, its very damaging.

At other times, I simply get furious at some one-off incident that would have happened ages ago and purse my lips till the point my teeth start to bite into them. Ferociously furious, I must say. And then it passes off. Don't know what triggers these volatile memories. I really must put a lid on them or start looking at the funny side of them.

So, when some of my buddies say that they have not seen me lose my temper, I murmur Ethan Hunt's memorable quote from 'Mission Impossible', "you have never seen me very upset." Or, for a change (depends on the day of the week), I use Bruce Banner's quip, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." from 'The Hulk'. Nice lines, those.

Anyways, to cut the long story short, I'm pretty bad at anger management and equally bad at swallowing a tantrum when I am upset. I mean when I am very upset that is.

Thankfully, my bouts of upset mode are far and few and I would like to make them much farther and fewer before I gnash my teeth to bone dust and rip my remaining hair out. Small things upset me or at least used to upset me. But nowadays as experience is tutoring me, I'm getting more thick-skinned and ignoring the smaller irritants. Nevertheless, I still don't want to be known as Captain Haddock (from those favorite Tintin comics) who's not had his dose of Loch Lomond whisky that day. So, I am in search for that elusive elixir that will keep my temper in check. I'm still searching and I have promised myself that I'll find it someday, for everyone's sake.

So as a part of this quest, I google sites that say that they help or give free advice on how to control one's "negative" emotions. I've found a good one in http://www.apa.org (American Psychological Association). It has some nice and basic tips, nothing that hotheads like me have not heard of before but effective nevertheless. Or so say the Psychologists. Some of these tips are:

- Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."

- Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

- Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

- Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

I will try to remember them the next time I begin to morph into Mr. Hyde (Eeeaaaargh, get that thing off me!). This way I hope that Dr. Hyde stays firmly in control. Till the time I master my zen and memorize APA's tips, some more china shops will get in the way of those rampaging rhinos. I just hope this modern china is really unbreakable as they advertise.

To Power Without Power

And as the elections near, the speeches get more and more promising. And more entertaining. The great Indian democratic machinery has to be woken up from deep slumber after five years to ensure that the common man votes for the leader of his choice. Suddenly the Election Commission becomes the most important organization for the entire country. Not bad, I must say, after all, we still have democracy dictating the terms in this country.

This morning, I was reading the main page article in the newspaper that talked about one such speech given by a leader in a public meeting. The message given was, we are the wheels of progress and we promise progress along with social justice. What made the whole thing funny was the fact I was reading all this in a candlelight. Yea, in candlelight because of a regular power outage we have during that time. 

Power outages for hours - because there is an acute shortage of power - still makes you wonder about the progress that's been made by the elected governments. The situation's worse in villages and small towns where the power is out for hours together. So, just like all other years previously, power has become a major factor this election year too. In the past, governments have fallen after police fired at people who were protesting about the power situation. Power begets power. But the converse need not be true. I must say that the issue of power scarcity has been a major concern for almost since 3 or 4 elections that I remember. And it is still alive or at least comes to life during the elections. Even after so many years of "progress", there are some things about the political system that still nag you. They nag you so bad that you feel that we are progressing backwards as the rest of the world is moving forward.

The more I think about it, the more backwards I have to travel in time. To the days where we had something called the "load shedding", a term which the state-owned electricity companies invented to switch-off power during the nights, days and whenever other times possible for hours together. Why? Because they were not ready to admit that there was a power shortage situation the state could not solve. The state would not allow private sector to step in to help strengthen the grid. Private enterprises would mean a capitalist fleecing the common public with high rates for the power he generated and sold. Power was a state-owned business and nobody but the public was supposed to benefit. 

Noble thoughts indeed, but easier said than done. The power companies though established with good intentions were also inefficient in many ways. And no one benefited from their inefficiency. Well, having said that, to be honest, some did benefit, by stealing power from the power transmission lines and they still do. Some even stole the high-tension transmission wires because they were made of copper (subsequently the wires were changed to Aluminium which is not as good a conductor as copper is and results in massive power losses during transmission). So the people, who paid, also paid for the power that was stolen by others. And the wires too. It’s common news even today that some industries and residences steal power to save on huge electricity bills. Some of the politicians themselves have been indicted for such activities. 

Power is such an irresistible topic for elections, that you can’t help but keep the issue alive. Thankfully, with better sense prevailing, the governments have been able to involve private enterprises in power generation. Though this is coming at a cost, at least we are plugging the holes that would otherwise weaken the progress.

While all this happens, it will still be sometime before I can stop buying candles. Till that time, I will be reading about the ridiculous speeches on progress, development and modernization under candlelight. More about progress later.

Assignments and Elections '09

Finally, I have been able to complete my Financial Insights assignments. 3 down, 7 to go. Of course, the project involved a little help from my sis and investopedia.com. Especially investopedia.com. The project overshot by a month. But it was well worth it. Now I can make some sense out of WACC, NPV, Debt-equity, blah, blah. I now hope that I get to use all these terms in one sentence and still make some sense one day. Meanwhile, the push has come to a shove and the rest of the assignments need to be finished too. I hope I will be able to breeze thru them. Yeah right!

While I struggle with my own little monsters hiding under my bed, the countdown to Elections '09 has begun and the campaign of each party is heating up. Every other ad or for that matter every ad on TV is that of a political party. I have never seen such spate of political ads on TV before. And there is no respite with news channels either. And if you shut the TV, there's always the SMSes on mobile. There's no escaping from them. One thing I can say for sure is that these parties are definitely getting media savvy and leaders are becoming more photogenic. Hope they become incorruptible too. Sigh! Wishful thinking. I just hope we have a better government this time. Let there be light. And let reason prevail.

CEOs Dilemma

Once upon a time (but not so long ago), a corner office of a big corporate was an object of great desire for any ambitious manager. Fat paychecks, bonuses, unimaginable power and of course the fame if you did a good job. I don't know if this is still the case. But then the old adage "what goes up, comes down" consistently delivers on its money. And it has done so yet again. CEOs nowadays are available for dime a dozen or precisely for a $1.00 per year salary. Take the case of any big company today, the story seems to be the same. In some cases this $1.00 salary does not include perks such as flying around in corporate jets asking for bailouts from the government or taking holidays in exclusive retreats. What the job really comes with is, a lot of challenges, a lot of criticism, a lot of tough decisions like letting go of employees and constant media scrutiny waiting for that one wrong step that will bring down the intricate house of cards. All this for one measly $1.00. Or maybe I am wrong. Maybe, $1.00 is no more measly. Maybe these CEOs are getting overpaid for the job they have on hand. Whatever be the case, they have their job cut out for them. Any takers?

So, while these CEOs try to use their numerous years of experience to bring us out of this quagmire and get grossly overpaid for it, there was one CEO – Paul Levy of Beth Israel Hospital - this week who was bent on saving the jobs of thousands of people who work for his hospital in a unique but effective way. This man certainly does deserve more than a dollar. Its nice to see that some good guys are still hanging on there. Check his blog at http://runningahospital.blogspot.com.